MOTHERS ONLY? - A WORD FOR THOSE SUPPORTING MOTHERS

Childbirth-related PTSD affects more than just the mothers. Apart from partners and support people possibly being traumatized in their own right, we have to recognize that the experience of PTSD has an impact on the people around the mother, whether those people recognize it or not.

Little research and study has been done on this area, and no specific programmes of help and support are available. Be aware, though, that thought-leaders in PTSD treatment are becoming more and more aware of the situation of those supporting mothers with PTSD, and are starting to investigate and explore options.

In the mean-time, know that you are not forgotten in the rush of attention of the mother. Stick with her. What you are doing is great, and you are a very important person!

A PARTNER'S PERSPECTIVE

This has been written by the partner of a PTSD survivor.

"PTSD affects partners too. Women experience it directly, men see and try to deal with its effects. Men have to understand that the women's experiences have affected them. Women have to know that their men have been affected too.

Men sometimes struggle to cope with the changes they see in their women. Some previously important things might no longer count. Other thoughts and reactions have appeared. Women might be always "on" about the birth or something to do with it. Against all apparent logic, they won't "let it go" and "get on with it."

They might seem to be "going round in circles" "like a stunned guppy," as if they have been knocked over by a steam-roller. They might go right over the top in reaction to harmless things. A well-meaning comment might put them into spin, and set them back untold - men will not appreciate the well-wisher's comment.

But the women have not "gone nutty." The women's reactions are par for the course, given what has happened to them. They have been steam-rollered, they cannot help being in a "daze." A war veteran might dive for cover when a car backfires - other "backfiring" might panic women as dramatically.

But the women are still there. They know they are not well. They want to be better. For that, they need help. Their men will probably not have the skills. But their men can hold them. Their men can work to shelter them from what is not helpful. And their men can listen. Listening, not chemicals, underlies the available treatments for PTSD. In this way men can help, as their women "ride out the storm."

Ralph

A HELPFUL SITE

Postpartum Dads: this website is intended to help other dads by providing firsthand information and guidance through the experience of PPD. Their message is one of hope, that "your wife can overcome PPD and you can have a happy, love filled family."

While this site relates to Postpartum Depression, a lot of it is equally relevant to those close to PTSD sufferers and survivors.

(Longfellow- "New England Tragedies")